Situation- Are you the parent for an infant and a kindergartener or so? Then, hopefully I don’t need to explain much about the situation. It’s a nightmare I know. Imagine your older kid also starts bother you asking for pulling up blanket, peeing, water …along with your newborn who is designed to wakeup often to feed and cuddle. Don’t freak-out you are not alone. Most of the parents go through the similar situations and here are some of my trial and error findings.
Task- Without bothering the little one who wakes up for all the tiny disturbances it was really hard for me to get elder one back to sleep. During these kind of night tantrums, they won’t listen to us because its their subconscious mind which is taking control over them. Believe me, shouting back at them or punishing them is never going to help. Despite, its going to worsen these situations. In the beginning, my partner and I tried to accommodate all her needs at the middle of the night. After a bit of time we noticed the more we did this, the more often she started throwing her tantrums. I found myself stepping back, letting her tantrums run their course and ended up with a cuddling section when she was done.
Action – As this drama continued for most of the days, I started to drain out my patience. There where days when I felt that whole my parenting strategies where a big failure. We discussed and came up with an idea that if we can rewrite her subconscious mind who is the culprit behind all these sleeping disorders we could sleep better.
Are you thinking what is this subconscious mind to do with this??? Alright, let me explain. According to the dictionary it is “something existing in the mind but not immediately available to consciousness.” We all have it and it has lot to do with the brain waves. According to scientific researches,
From birth to 2years – less frequency waves or delta waves controls your brain. (i.e., very less filtering of information, no logic). This wave controls an adult human while he sleeps.
From 2 to 8 years- zeta waves take over the brain control. (kids at this age believe what we say/what they see/what they imagine)
In short, until age of 8 kids are just downloading all the data. As adults we sometimes forget that he/she is literally a kid. We believe that they should think, understand and act the way we do. Whereas, in the eyes of our kids, you are literally everything. What ever you tell, their brain records it as true. So, beware of the words that you use to call your kid during an out burst.
Yeah, too much of science. Well, to take an action a little ground work will always help. Here are some of the action plans…
Here are some of the action plans…
- Talk about the tantrums and the troubles that your kid is making at night time during a bonding section with them and make sure that they listen to you calmly.
- Try to know the root cause/triggers and reprogram your child’s subconscious.
- Stay calm knowing that this type of behaviour is perfectly normal. Nevertheless, it is imperative that they learn early that this kind of action is not acceptable in your home.
- Follow a consistent bedtime routine.
- Take time to connect with your kid by reading story/singing lullaby. Don’t forget to say how much you treasure them.
- Even if you see the changes in your kids initially, follow the whole steps everyday. Be consistent.
And lot more… (guess it won’t go in one blog post. So, stay tuned for upcoming posts)
Result- Well, in our case within two days the problem was fixed. She seldom wakes up at midnight, stared to pull up the blanket by herself, going to pee if needed with minimal assistance, no tantrums no nightmares …Wow!! relaxing right??
Give it a try and let me know the feedback. And don’t forget to comment your own tricks and tips for the same.