A Mother’s day preparation guide amid lock down.

For a woman, the word ‘MOM’ recalls of her own origin and her destiny. Yes, at some point of life, we all realize what our mom went through for bringing up each one of us. It will take a generation time for this realization- to be specific – Until we are in motherhood…starting with the long 9 months of morning sickness and discomforts, c-sections and the first bowels there after, sleepless first year of your newborn, those days even if you are on a sick leave and realize that, mom in you don’t have a day off…During this whole grooming session, where a girl in us molds into a women/mom, we terribly miss our mom and feels like we should celebrate every day as Mother’s Day.

Officially, we celebrate Mother’s day on second Sunday in may ..It is a time to celebrate Mom’s -the very beautiful creatures that gave us life ,love and care to thrive as a growing little humans that blossom into admirable adults. Unlike there in India, here in Canada it used to be one of those days when they would get family and friends together for a dine out, backyard BBQ’s, game/movie nights with mom. And of course, the lovely gifts, flowers hugs and kisses. Well, people of every nation got their own culture. However, this one used to give me goosebumps – the way Canadians honoring Motherhood.

But with stay at home and social distancing measures in place because of the covid-19 pandemic, Mother’s Day is going to look different this year. For some of us, can’t reach to hug our mom, for others who are near couldn’t celebrate the day as usual. Here are some of the ways that you can make your moms happy on this special day amidst this lock down.

If you are staying with your mom

  • Breakfast in bed is a considerable option that makes her feel so special on this whole day.
  • Baking / making moms favorite recipes.
  • Backyard BBQ’s / picnic.
  • Scavenger hunt for gifts at home. Yes, you can go creative here.
  • Drive thru party: In this era of social distancing and cheap gas, drive thru party is the new way to celebrate everything from birthdays to wedding. Since there is a social gathering restriction during this pandemic time, invite your loved ones for a drive thru party, holding balloons/flowers/posters to surprise your mom.
  • Making cards, personalized letter or a nice portrait drawing/painting of your mom… Well, do this only if you believe you are good at it. 😉

If you can’t make it home

Since we are living in a world of cutting edge technologies and social networks, just make use of it.

  • Making a personalized video for your mom by combining pics from old memories.
  • Collect all the loved one’s( it can be her old friends, teachers, relatives, colleagues) video message and merge it to make a lovely clipping.
  • Of Course, you can utilize the live video chat platforms like Skype/zoom/Facebook/google Hangout…etc.
  • Ask your dear ones living near to your mom’s house to wish her on behalf of you in a social distancing way.
  • Making cards, writing letter and take a snap and send it.
  • Its not a bad idea to buy something online for your Mom. But I personally recommend some creative thoughts for making memories with our mom. And hope you know, online delivery expected dates are really unpredictable during these lock-down days.

If you have little kids its worth try to grow a culture of honoring motherhood from their childhood itself. By doing moms day crafts,poem,watching related stories/songs on you tube we can spend some quality time with them and make our-self special.

(some useful links for kids-songs- https://youtu.be/iOSqt37-6aM -stories-https://youtu.be/PgWDU-LfBIs,https://youtu.be/fC4GN0sEJi8)

Here I share some of my kindergartener’s surprise to me for mothers day. Trust me, its fun to know what’s your image in their little hearts.

So, the whole idea behind this post is- whether your mom is near or far,make sure that you tell your mom how much you treasure her and show her you love with one of above ideas that will make any mom feel special.By Commenting let me know your creative plans of celebrating “mom”!!Who knows, you might find a way make it even more special this time.

A thank you note for the front-line workers: Covid-19

A thank you note for the front-line workers: Covid-19

https://lafemina.home.blog/2020/04/05/a-thank-you-note-for-the-front-line-workers-covid-19/
— Read on lafemina.home.blog/2020/04/05/a-thank-you-note-for-the-front-line-workers-covid-19/

Dedicated to all frontline staff out there..you’re the real super heroes ..

Do’s & Don’ts to outsmart couple fights.

Do’s & Don’ts to outsmart couple fights.

https://lafemina.home.blog/2020/05/01/dos-donts-to-outsmart-couple-fights/
— Read on lafemina.home.blog/2020/05/01/dos-donts-to-outsmart-couple-fights/

Do’s & Don’ts to outsmart couple fights.

First five years of marriage is like the ‘baby teething process’ ..Yes, we all enter into it at the romancing stage and for the majority, it takes a long time period to reach at the acceptance phase. When we celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary today, I believe I’m mature enough to talk about relations. Like every one out there, my body also couldn’t continue to produce the same level of endorphins that it was in the beginning of our marriage. And its obvious that, it ends up with disagreements or so-called ‘couple fights’.

There are times we all argue about silly issues like social media post, destination for a holiday getaway or have some bigger disagreements about hurt feelings, topics on extended family members/friends, raising kids/household, finance…and so on. Couple fights are inevitable in family life. These events come up to test our strength of relations or rather to strengthen our relations. So here are some do’s and don’ts that I found helpful to embrace our relationship.

Don’ts

  • Reloading past– We ladies are said to have good memory on infinite mindless past things compared to men. However, don’t use that bliss during couple dispute. Trust me, it will worsen the situation. Rather, try to stick on to the present problem and finding a solution.
  • Don’t ever compare– It’s a human tendency to compare our partner with our friends or relatives’ partners. Besides heating the situations, this act goes in vain. Try to accept them as they are.
  • Hold your tongue – This is the place I always loose my consciousness. No matter how mad you get and how much that inner temper flareup, resist the urge to unleash your anger in your speech. Stay calm and try to explain what actions hurt you. Remember, words you uttered is like a missed arrow-both you can’t take it back.
  • Involving others to solve the fights– Not only in couple disputes, but also in any fights you can follow this same principle. Try to solve it among yourself. When you go for a third party, you always end up with a biased view on the issue. And consequently, the situation gets complicated.

Do’s

  • Do make requests, not complaints– Some times, while we get exhausted with the household errands and you see your partner relaxing and watching movie/chatting on phone, its instinctive that you lose your temper and start complaining. Try to rephrase it in to a request like, I’m so tired of this/that will you please help me with this/that. This one does the job without making much hassles.
  • Know the right time to pause– When the conversations are going out of your control, take a break. I personally prefer taking a shower. It gives your mind enough time to relax and think over the topic from different perspectives.

Meditation, cooking your favorite food, spending time with a baby or pets or even cleaning helps. You may use this time wisely to think about the solutions or rather, you may discover some defensible points to save your face. Hope you recall about what I said about social media on one of my previous post (if not,here is the link…https://lafemina.home.blog/2020/03/14/a-withheld-letter-to-my-sisters/ ) strictly stay way from it at this crucial time.

  • Do keep a low voice and tone– I don’t think there is an urge to explain much about this point.
  • Taking turns– I would suggest, it would be better to have discussed between you and your partner before the disagreements occur. Therefore, you can communicate effectively amid a heated conversation.
  • Apologies matters– Last but not the least, when you make a lifetime commitment to someone, it means your relationship becomes more important than who’s right and who’s wrong. Its never too late to say S-o-r-r-y.

To conclude, it takes time and patience for two souls who was raised in two different family backgrounds to become a perfect ‘made for each other couples’ . Next time when you have a disagreement, remember you are a team and understand that this issue arises because of your unconditional love and caring for each other. And it is important that you learn to outsmart it before it engulfs you and your relation.

During these days the whole family is multitasking virtually from home, and chances of couple fights are relatively high I guess. Hope these tips will be helpful during this lock-down days. And also don’t forget to share your smart tips for the same in the comment box below...

A handout from Heaven amid covid-19

My dearest,

Sorry for the late response. Needless to say, about the prayer requests that I receive here during any crisis situations. And in this pandemic season its zillion times the others. Yes, I can see the virus outspread all around the world as rapidly as a fake news going viral on the internet. Don’t get panic ..look at it as one of the nature’s  way to stabilize  its own equilibrium.

Remember, when I completed the creation we had a covenant. Its true, that I gave you people the supremacy over all my creations. However, I didn’t mean to harm rest of my creations. Now, think what you and your friends did. You guys proved to be untrustworthy. Pollution, population, trading of animal meat, deforestation…in short you turned my paradise to a place where no living creatures can co-exist. Yes, I agree to some extent this all are necessary for you guys to hold your spot as a dominant intelligent species on this planet. But this is ridiculous!! Now you should be prepared to face the serious repercussions here after.

Hope you are aware that, this trouble maker virus existed long time ago on this same planet. However, in those times it had a host- Animals. But now, you know what you guys are doing to them. Well, I can’t turn away from the prayer requests of those poor creatures you where feeding and trading on. So, let ‘Corona’ carrying out its own devoir.

By the way, I am so glad that now you aren’t complaining on ‘shortage of time’. The whole world is standing still while the clock is ticking around. So, wake-up…its an opportunity for you. Follow your passion, start a new hobby, learn new skills and if possible, go vegan or at least reduce the meat consumption…. And mold yourself into a better person. Remember how Noah the patriarch acted during his lock-down days.

Remote jobs, Household chores, Kid’s virtual school, Layoffs, Economy crisis…I know its too much. Patience is the key- not worrying. Stop concerning about the things that is not under your control. The cross you carry may seem heavy especially in these challenging times. While this may seem overwhelming, it helps to look around the world and see what other people are coping with. You may consider yourself far more fortunate than you imagined. So, stay home, stay safe…give the rest to your Lord God.

With lots of love,

Your Lord God

As a response to this letter I reduced 90% my meat consumption …may be in a near future completely to a vegan. He knows withdrawal symptoms is as hard as an alcoholic. Well, we can’t change the whole world. However, each of us can give it a try. So will you…?? don’t forget to share your thoughts…

A thank you note for the front-line workers: Covid-19

While most of us are staying home and working from home in this pandemic locked-down season, I thought I should take a moment to thank all the frontline workers who are sacrificing and working around the clock to help rest of our lives safe.

Recently I pinged one of our close family friends for inviting their kids for a play-date to escape from the boredom of these lock-down days. But the reply really made my mind so disturbed and it prompted me to do this post. The response was like this. Since she is working as a healthcare provider chances of exposure to the virus is high and she wanted us to make safe. Yes, this is the mind set of each and every front-line worker out there and that is why we owe them.

The health care professionals, army, doctors, government officials, sanitary workers, delivery persons, essential store keepers…. all of these key workers who goes out to work every day for rest of us and doing essential work- whether it be cleaning, serving us or curing us. Most of these real heroes don’t wear capes but mask, apron or gloves…leaving their family behind/into trouble.

I am content about the government initiation of some countries like India, Spain, Canada etc…literally making people to thank frontline workers. However, I feel they deserve something more than the applauses in this chaotic situation. First and foremost, let’s stay at home and return the favour.

I find myself paralysed even to go out and take back the blue boxes from the curbs. At the same time, I can see folks going out for jogging, dog walking, skating, shopping …whoa! What a contradictory scenario!! I appreciate your concerns about health and physical fitness. But don’t forget that you need walls to draw pictures.

If you’re able, remain at home and continue to practice social distancing while still communicating with friends and family. Use this lockdown season wisely. If your work from home is not working, try to learn something new or start a new hobby rather than wasting time by playing online games/movies. By staying at home, you are paying the biggest favour back to those who are on the frontlines. By doing so you are helping to slowdown the spread and there by giving them a space to breath.

So, stay home stay safe. Let’s flight it together along with the frontline…yes, we got this. And if you personally know any of them take a moment to thank them by any means that you could.

 This blog post is one way that I did to thank them and let me know what you did/planning to do in the comment box below.

May the grace and peace of our lord Jesus be yours in abundance. Happy Palm Sunday…

How to get more likes on Instagram?

One of the platform we all use to promote our blog post, photography or any other online business is Instagram. The basic reason behind we all choose this platform is, it can reach to wider audience despite of our friends list. Moreover, the post on Instagram is permanently there and available anytime for future improvements.

One of the drawbacks I personally noticed on Instagram is ,we tend to get more likes at the time of posting and then gradually it reduces. Yeah, like all other social platforms your post also goes down in their data base. And have you ever wondered is there any possible ways to keep your post always at the recent list???? If not here is one guy nicely explaining how to do the same.It’s not rocket science it,s very simple just needed a bit of our patience.click the link to know the trick.

How to get more likes on Instagram pictures!!
https://youtu.be/dpyC7IyD4vI

Here is a screenshot proof:

So if he can do it why cant we give it a try? So try it and let me know if it worked for you to increase your business/likes/followers on Instagram!!

Let’s break the silence to our kids on this crisis: COVID-19

Do you have little chatterbox who got hundred of questions on virus? Well, I got one. Sampling of some of her questions follows.

Why is the march break is taking so long? Is my school full of virus? Will virus come to me if I go outside the house? Some what hundreds of questions follow.

Heights of boredom occasionally strives her to throw tantrums for going outside to park/walk or to snack on all junk foods…. meanwhile, myself making her to wash/wipe the hands more often. Restrictions…..restrictions…. Well, nothing much needed to make little kiddos go crazy. Yes, these are scary times with all of the kids not returning to school/daycare anytime soon to avoid spread of virus. To clear confusions without alarming them, you might want some ideas of how to discuss the matter with your little munchkins.

Let’s talk: As the first step ask them what they already know about corona virus and what they have heard (from friends, media, family members, etc.). Spend some time to talk through this and encourage them to approach you with any other questions. Try to be honest and answer in a way that accounts for your child’s age.

Here is a link that I found helpful for you to explain about virus to your kiddos in an interesting way( https://660919d3-b85b-43c3-a3ad-3de6a9d37099.filesusr.com/ugd/64c685_319c5acf38d34604b537ac9fae37fc80.pdf)

Think twice before you talk: Limit conversations with/around them about things that they can’t control or help with. (i.e., -no: of newly reported cases, job lose/ shortage of income, a family friend got exposed to virus etc.).

Share information in a concrete way:  Speak to them about the ways you are helping them to stay safe. Speak about the wise usage of recourses, snack items especially toilet papers/napkins/sanitizers. And don’t forget to review good hygiene practices.

Divert their attention: Consider supporting your child with an individual routine including activities such as online learning, get them creative ideas on crafting/painting, self care activities, joining them in household chores and don’t forget to add some physical activities. Trust me, the latter one will help them to get lose the excess energy and for a good sleep. (most of the times getting them to do exercise doesn’t works for me. So, we use to play their favorite music and get them to dance with us. Mostly its kind of a family dance.)

Hopefully this really helps to ease these lock-down days. So stay home ..stay safe..!

Wanted to raise a smart, independent and self-reliant kid? 3 steps to follow…

Hey, have you ever closely observed how does a butterfly emerges from its cocoon? If yes, had anyone lost patience and literally gave a helping hand for that little creature to come out of it?? Perhaps, kids do that. However, we adults will be holding ourselves back because we know that it can’t fly if it isn’t evolving through its own struggles. So that is it, as simple as that. Then why we parents are so overprotective when it comes to raising our own kids??

From the moment the tiny heart ticks in your womb you take all the measures to build a protective shield for your baby. I remember all the funny things I did. Switching to super healthy diet, changing the dressing pattern, giving rest to the pointed heels, sleeping positions.. whoa… What not!!

Let’s discuss about some of the serious repercussions that this kind of parenting can cause to your kid’s future.

  • Kids will lack problem solving skills.
  • Highly dependent kids.
  • Lack of decision-making skills.
  • Negative effect on parent – child relation in a long run.

I don’t say that I was raised as an independent, self reliant kid. And I recollect the vague memories of my mom selecting dresses and toys for me , helping me with my home works, setting timetable sometimes, even feeding me on busy exam days…Well in those days I had no complaints, rather I enjoyed it until the situations came which demanded my own decisions. And I saw myself struggling to get through without my parents.

 In whole my life time I had got chance to closely observe how the south Asian families and western families raise their kids. I can indubitably say that these western families do better job in raising independent kids. Well, occasionally I felt that the freedom these kids are enjoying is bit on the higher side. To be precise how much ever desirable one thing is, even if it is good when we dwell too much upon it will be toxic. So, let’s try to exercise something in the middle.

 So here are some of my findings to make your kid smart, independent and self reliant.

  • Train them to be independent from younger ages.
    • Avoid co-sleeping.
    • Let them feed by themselves from early years of life.
    • Don’t help them with the homework’s, dishes, setting timetables, jackets, shoes instead, give them age appropriate duties at home like arranging the shoe racks, arranging news papers etc.
    • Involve them in household chores like cooking, cleaning, laundry…trust me its fun.
  • Problem solving.

Suppose, your kid falls down and got bruises while playing with other kids. And you are blaming other kids/their parents for your kid’s action In-front of your kid.

Or there was a kind of quarrel between kid’s group and you are speaking up for your kid. These kinds of action literally pull-down your kid’s ability for problem solving in future.  So wait, relax and see how your kid handle those situations.

  • Decision making.
    • Let them select their toys and dresses from early ages of life. Well, every child is unique. He/she will have their own taste and preferences. (It is also never late to teach them the value of money.)
    • Let them choose their life/career they want. (as parents we can give them proper guidance and courage to do things by themselves also set a good example and give age appropriate control.

By reading through above steps, some of you may feel it as elementary. Well its not!! I know as parents our unconditional love and anxiety hold us back in providing the freedom each kid should poses.

However, your first job is to calm your own nerves- most of us know when we were catastrophizing. Secondly, take a look at their previous behaviour and use it as a clue. That will give you an idea about the degree of freedom that you can give to your kid. Finally, talk to your child and set some appropriate limits. This thumb rule is helpful for everything from when you to allow your toddler to walk down to school bus stop alone to when to allow your teenager to drive on the highway.

To conclude, if your children are independent, you have provided them with the belief that they are competent and capable of taking care of themselves. So set a good example, proper guidance and give age appropriate control.

lets take this COVID-19 lock down season as a better way to connect to your kids. Stay home..stay safe.

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