My new painting
Hmm, looks like they’re communicating through their eyes 👀 isn’t..?what else do you 🤔 think..?
hey story teller bloggers out there..give wings to your imagination..
Share your thoughts about the painting in the comment box below..
My new painting
Hmm, looks like they’re communicating through their eyes 👀 isn’t..?what else do you 🤔 think..?
hey story teller bloggers out there..give wings to your imagination..
Share your thoughts about the painting in the comment box below..
Well, this question wasn’t raised by me.. Rather, from an elementary school girl, while learning her social studies text book..! Of course, the video went viral..!! Even though at first glance it may feel funny, there is something which needs our greater attention. For better understanding I can explain what left that little mind perplexed..!
‘Why in all text books they say ‘Man made’ not human made or people made..? Were the girls aren’t allowed to make structure like Eiffel Tower ..? (Girl continues) In history lesson they said that Abraham Lincoln once said “All Men are born to be equal” but why not women..??’
If a little girl could figure out this skewed ‘Patriarchal Notions’ which still exist in the curriculum then, Why can’t us..??
Recently, I was was giving some advice to my elder daughter so that she could be a good Role Model to her younger brother.. And her curious mind figured out the new term in my conversation and enquired me ‘What is this ‘Role Model’ all about’..? Well , like all of us, I too started to give her a generic answer like, A role model is a person who serves as a positive example to others so we can follow ‘HIS’ path….! Obviously, you can imagine what the next question she might have came up with.. ‘Mom I’m a girl then why did you use HIS..? Why, can’t you say ‘Her’.. or at least add HIS/HER’.. Well, guys I’m trapped.. And that’s not my fault, that’s how we were taught..!
I could recall my social studies classes and history classes where most of the general term for everything specific is for Men..! For example – police officer, postman etc. . More over, I remember, how the text books always featured men’s picture for business person or police officer.. and women in the kitchen with kids ..! And the saddest part is that, this practice still continues in many of our 21st century syllabus as well…! Look, how they’re knowingly or unknowingly programming the future of our younger minds..? And in some schools, where kids are made to clean their classrooms, they instruct boys to help with moving the benches, where girls are responsible for cleaning the floor..! Well, when will this kind of stereotyping will end..?
May be because of all these stereotyping, all the girls whom I have asked including myself preferred to be a BOY in their rebirth if it exists..! More over, a few boys said would like to be a Girl in their next life..!!
Yes, once there was a time when, only men were earning for the bread and women belonged to the kitchen.. Time passed, the modern era’s women figured out her potential..! She began to see herself as an Individual ..! And I believe its high time to our curriculum should be updated with respect to gender equality..! hmm.., I know it isn’t an easy task to completely wipe out the gender inequalities in one go . However, at least we could weaken this kind of ill thoughts and practices among the societies..! let the future be equal..!
I know , if you’re have read all my previous post, somewhere or everywhere you might have smelled the similar “equality” recipe.. and thinking why this topic is so important..? Because, this equality can ensure the safety of the women also by achieving it , a country could attain its economic stability.. In short, if you want earth a better place to dwell, then the first thing should be fixed is this. Do you remember one on our previous post on ‘Gender inequality an hindrance for human progress’..?? In that one I have explained more detailed on how this inequalities effects our overall growth (if you missed, here is the link –https://lafemina.home.blog/2020/10/04/violence-against-women-hindrance-for-equality-peace-and-development/ )
What is your opinion..? Do you recall similar instances on gender inequalities in curriculum..? If Yes , let’s hear it in the comment box below..
(The dancing girl – pallet knife experiment on canvas- Guy’s don’t think it is MAN MADE its self made.. LOL..! artist -Anu@lafemina) Just wanted to fill your heart with love and happiness as this dancing girl in this happening long weekend, where we celebrate Valentine’s day and Family day along with my Birthday…Yes, I’m a Valentines day gift for my Mom and Dad..!
Sit back and relax.. Now ask yourself this question “What Is The Purpose Of Your Life” ..?And if you have an answer to it please ignore this post.. And If you took a while to mutter it out then proceed to read..!
Lets pause the question here and in first place, lets discuss WHY its so important to add value to yourself..? If you think VALUE in terms of Money, in that case, Yeahh.. there are many people around us thinking like my partner or my Dad is rich then why should I earn or go for work.. or suppose you are a hourly paid working person, On what basis do the company pay you..? Obviously, its for the VALUE you add to the company in certain time.. And if you want to make more, you’ll have to add more value to the company and yourself.. right..? Just like that, if we want more out of our life and to figure out the purpose of our life we’ll need to add value to our own life and learn to value yourself. And as a result, the world around you will start valuing you as an Individual regardless of your Gender/Job/Financial Status..!
There is a common misbelief among people that you can only ‘add value to yourself’ or ‘people will value you’, if you are a employed person or a person owns a business.. Well, I don’t believe in it.. it is just a way that you can achieve it but not the only one..!!
Here are some simple tips I found it useful to embrace our own life and bring out the true potential out of it.
1.Be kind and help others to add their value – While being kind and helping others its a good practice to forget about the help we did so that it doesn’t bother you in the future. Which means don’t expect anything in return..! And when we’re helping others to add value for them you indirectly adding value to yourself. It could be in terms of money or knowledge.
2.Have your own life by following your passion and intuitions : Usually Men’s doesn’t fail to follow this step. However, for women’s once she get married or after getting a 9 to 5 job she forgets everything about her passion. hmm, we can’t blame HER because you know in a family most of her duties are irreplaceable..!
So many people around me ask how do I manage to get time for all these blogging, painting ,parenting especially when classes and work moved to the virtual world..? Guys I tell you, When there is a will there is a way..!! Its a good Idea to learn to manage our time. When we’re doing something just crosscheck whether its adding value to your Health, Wealth, Passion or Knowledge if not right away stop the action what ever you’re up to.. that’s the thump rule.(special mention, rule practiced by, @my hubby)
3.Know when to Say NO and have the confidence to be yourself: Saying NO without that awkward feeling..hm, remember ? We already discussed in detail before and I’m still working on it. (if you haven’t read it here is the link– https://lafemina.home.blog/2020/08/09/a-no-in-time-saves-nine/comment-page-1/) yes, a NO in time saves nine.
It a usual trend among couples that to hide yourself to impress your partner.. And how long do you think this will work..? So, its a better option to have the confidence to be yourself especially if you’re considering long term relations.
4. Give respect and take respect: I have heard many people complaining that, I dot get enough respect , they don’t value me and so on..! In such cases its a good idea to double check that, are you treating others in a way that you should be treated..!
5. Stop comparing yourself with others –last but not the least, Just be like the flowers that bloom in the spring.. they never compete each other.. they just Blooms…! Each of us are unique. When we compare, we loss our direction and motivation.. Remember, every minute you spend wishing to have others life, is a minute spending yours..!
So what are your tips and tricks to lift up yourself as an individual..? Don’t forget to share your thoughts in the comment box below.. Have a value added week ahead..
(Acrylic Buddha painting-Anu@lafemina)
Thinking what Buddha got to do with gender equality..??? Hmm.. even I didn’t have much clues, when I did this painting. Later on, in my research I figured out that my thoughts on gender equality goes in parallel with Buddhism. Which means, even if Buddhism teaches and practice gender equality they don’t like to be categorized as FEMINIST.. Like Buddhist believes, I also accept the biological differences in both gender. i.e. they cannot be EQUAL. Or can’t be compared to each other on any basis. However, this doesn’t makes a fundamental difference between men or women. Every one should be treated as HUMANS…just humans.
How many of our religions consider women as a highest priest..? But, according to Mahayana Buddhist every one is treated equally because of their Buddhist nature-i.e., ability to become Enlighted irrespective of their culture, race ,gender or flashback. According to Buddhist Canon, women are capable of reaching nirvana as men. Well, this is what google says, lets hope they truly practice this equality in their life as well.
Now coming back to the core topic, While closely observing modern feminism on a larger scale, I think it focus on “more rights ” rather than “equal rights”. Do you think this is fair..? We must understand the fact that there are certain things that sometimes men and other times women may excel. Gender equality doesn’t seeks for reservations anywhere just because you’re a woman. And there should be an authority to check every position/seats should be given to the deserved ones.
When I was a teenager I always wondered, while majority of the academic toppers are women what holds them back when progressing through their career path..? Why most of the successful person are men..? The answer is simple as this cartoon.(please bear with one of my messy drawings..)
I have also heard of stories where companies hesitate to hire a female candidate because of the maternity leaves and benefits they have to provide..! I think here comes the importance of paternity leaves practiced here in some western countries.
Feminism should be a urge of every woman who witness female feticide, early marriage, rape, molestation, dowry, body shaming etc.. Feminism is the belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. The ultimate goal of feminism is to challenge the systemic inequalities women face on a daily basis in our society. Bashing male counterpart for personnel gains in the name of feminism should be questioned.. Once a woman start working under the label of a feminist, she forgets/the circumstances forces her to forget about she is working towards female empowerment and equal rights.. She alone is not responsible for this , that’s how the society projects a feminist.
In our society men also faces certain kind of inequalities. But not as consequential as women, I guess..! Like, they’re more accountable for a families financial status, he’s supposed to be more bold and brave, even society don’t want HIM to cry/to be emotional in public…! A true feminist will stand for quality, irrespective of gender.. for me that’s feminism. In short, Men and women are just like wheels of a bicycle, if both works hand-in-hand we will have a smooth ride. Nothing more nothing less..!!
You may be wondering why I choose ‘gender equality’ for title rather than feminism, and hope now you have the answer. I stand for quality not under the banner of a feminist.
Okay , now let me hear your stand on Feminism. What’s your definition of equality..??share your thoughts in the comment box below..
thank you ,Anu@lafemina.
The northern lights painted the sky with stories we hadn’t heard of yet.
We leaned back letting the colors wash over us,
And paint new dreams for us to follow.
Yes, when 2020 ends here, teaching human kind many lessons unlearned, we leaned back.. We embraced our loved ones instead of running behind wealth.. We lost many, in this battle.. We realized our new dimensions.. We realized only you are there for yourself..ISolatioN..Quarantine.. What not!! However, this is not the end..
So many are out there, who realized there is noting much more to loose.. So let the coming year 2021 be an fantastic year in which, we apply all the lessons learned amid these hard times.. let our sorrows from this year turn a hard base for our rejuvenated new year life, as the goddess Aurora’s tears turned in to morning dew drops.. let’s paint new dreams for us follow.. Wishing you all a very happy and prosperous New year.. Also thank you my friends for the continuous support for my blog..
Hope you enjoyed my Northern lights painting, it’s a painting from my bucket list.. longing to see it for real.. hehe.. let in 2021 all our wishes come true..
Aurora borealis-the lights of northern hemisphere, means-dawn of north.. In Roman, goddess of dawn.. FUN FACT- ”ah- ROAR -ah” ====>>Aurora====>> fox fire.
Do you remember the happiness post, in which we discussed earlier, where we concluded that our happiness is not by chance but, by choice..??(here is the link in case you missed it-https://lafemina.home.blog/2020/07/15/8-basic-rules-for-a-happy-life/ ) hmm.. but how many of us are free to choose what we want..? or what we wanted to be..?? And if you’re hooked by some strings like parents, partners, religion etc. how could you find happiness in your life..? How can you find yourself..? “Freedom of choice is a key factor in determining the degree of a person’s empowerment…”- and this statement is regardless of gender ..!
Disclaimer: When I mention ‘Freedom of choice’ here in this article it doesn’t mean that you do what ever you want to do in life, without listening to any of the above mentioned strings. In my opinion, one must be aware of the consequences and must be brave enough to undertake the responsibility of its reverberations too.
Disclaimer 2–>Our dressing style has nothing to do with the empowerment and its one’s choice.
According to Keshab Chandra Mandal female empowerment is defined in 5 levels. Social, Educational, Economic, Political and Psychological.. And how far these terms are doing justice for them..? How many girl’s are free to choose their dream career.. or how many seats are for women in leading roles..?
Mostly, women live a dependent life style on their male counterparts throughout their life. That’s what the society expect from a girl child. Apart from that, young and vibrant girls of new generation, are taking a step ahead in this subject. Thank you universe for supporting them…! However, it’s still a small percentage of the women community ..isn’t it? For instance let’s talk about a girl from a medium family in a developing country.. From the day she is born, her decisions depends on her father’s wish, after marriage her spouse takes the charge and later on, Son/son-in-law will be carrying this position later on.
‘Her’ choices always depends on some authoritative/emotional strings. ‘Her’ choices/decision are consistently secondary and paused by “Pending decision” by the third umpire..!! The way in which women’s decisions/choices are treated in a family reflects how much empowered are they in a society..! I have come across so many families where women are not even allowed to express their thoughts or choices where decisions are made only by the male head of the family.. This is not 18th century, This is new Pandemic era, even virus don’t exhibit any kind of discrimination.. Here, all are equal, All can Work and all can Cook. All are free to choose and be independent. Everyone is unique and talented, and their choices must to be respected equally. And, It should begin from families.. And if it is not, you should stand up for yourself ..EMPOWER YOURSELF….!!
Let me conclude here by quoting Meryl Streep, “true freedom is understanding that we have a choice in WHO and WHAT we allow to have power over us“..! Every time when you’re changing your preferences for incorporating others wishes remember, you’re shutting the doors of your happiness and well being. There is only one life, live it to the fullest by listening to your heart..
Have an empowered week ahead my friends.. yes, you’re powerful than you think…
Well, Don’t forget to Share your thoughts on the post..!!
As a blogger or as a person how brave are you to Enter to a No Fear Zone..? how much comfortable are you when speaking out the truth..? To do a real-time/virtual presentation..? To start a new business..? To sing a solo song/dance/solo act in front of a crowd..? How will you Rate yourself in 10 with regards to of Self-confidence..?? To be frank, I would say around 8..however, way better than the older version of myself which was half of it. And in this post I will share some of the tips I found it helpful in boosting our SELF CONFIDENCE.
You probably do not know, this one isn’t an inborn talent or nothing to do with our ancestors..! In simple words it’s something we all acquire from our surroundings in course of our early ages of life time. Parents/guardians/teachers also play a vital role in building a self-confident person. Hmm, we’ll discuss it later.. So, why it’s so important..? we all long for embracing a successful life, Right..? If we observe each an every successful personalities around, one thing will be in common.. nothing else, ‘SELF CONFIDENCE’. Studies proved the fact that, most of these success makers possessed greater self-confidence than the ordinary person. So are you ready to enter to the NO FEAR ZONE with me…? okay let’s see some simple steps to follow..
Self motivation is the best motivation : You might have come across this term in job requirements like “we’re looking for self motivated individuals..” Haven’t you..? It’s nothing but, motivating or empowering yourself throughout all pleasant and unpleasant situations. Along with that we will have to stop all negative self-criticism too. In that way we’re unknowingly reprogramming our subconscious that we’re the Best. As a result we’ll never compare ourselves with others but, only with your previous best. hmm, thinking how to do this..? Self affirmations and positive self talk ( in front of a mirror or during meditation it’s all up to you).
Stop thinking, Start doing: Way before I stared blogging , I had a similar thought that, when I speak from my heart what others will think about me..? And you know this thought stopped me from blogging for past 5 years..!! You might have observed that the same thought has haunted all of us and made us fail to benefit from so many situations. Just think that what you’re going to do, will be adding value yourself and to the people surrounding you . Also we need to learn how to stop over thinking.
Capitalizing your strength: The basic thing to feel confident enough about something is knowledge. As the software is updating it’s versions, we’ll need to upgrade ourselves and add value to ourselves in the area of our interest. It’s wise to fine tune our passion to build self-confidence and therefore Self-esteem as well. ((Remember ,our post on self esteem..? if not here is the linkhttps://lafemina.home.blog/2020/07/04/6-simple-ways-for-boosting-your-self-esteem/ ))I have seen many people complaining that I’m jack of all trades but master of none. But, this thought is completely wrong in my opinion, Practice make a man perfect. When our time, energy and emotion travel in one direction this magic will happen by its own.
Stay away from toxic people: While we’re trying to build self-confidence, It’s really important to stay away from negative thinkers. If you can’t leave them, better learn how to ignore it. However, kids at their early ages who doesn’t know how to distinguish positive and negative people, will fall for their nasty comments.. Sometimes, this mishappening will question their self-confidence in the future life as well. I still can recall one of such incident happened at my very first on stage solo performance. Some friendly teasing words from dear ones, without considering of my age, went straight in to my heart. And for me, it took years to heal it and do any kind of solo presentation in front of public. So please.. please.. don’t let anyone one down especially kids..
You might have observed that when we talk to some people we feel so much of positive vibes, try to stay closer to them. Trust me it works..!! Again, thanks to mirror neurons.
Don’t let your fear hold you back: Half of the job is done once we define the GOALs of our life . Then we just need to focus the ways how to achieve it. When our desire is well-defined and robust there will be no room for FEAR. All that we have to do is believe in ourselves and come out of our comfort zones. Work for it and turn self-confidence to a habit, because each of us are numerous possibilities. So, believe in yourself. And don’t give room for Doubts..DO IT..DO
And at the end let me ask you a Question, to ask to yourself the moment before you start to lose your inner strength..’ if we already knew that we’re going to succeed then why to get panic to give it a try..??’
So, now tell me how confident are you..? or did anyone tried to let you down and how did you managed to come back..? Comment box is waiting for your response.
Have an amazing week ahead my friends.. Anu@lafemina
Everyday day we come across the news of sexual harassments against women happening around us through medias. Is there any platform immune to these Sexual harassments..?? It’s an Universal truth that Sexual Harassment is pervasive. It happens anywhere at anytime including online platforms. And most of the people around us see this act as normal.. Why an improper touch or sexual comments are becoming more of like normalized these days.. ?What make us to think it is normal while it isn’t at all..! What make our girls to take a negative street comment as a compliment..??
We don’t need to learn rocket science to figure out the root causes of these evil behaviors. Its rooted in human History.. GENDER INEQUALITY/Gender Dominance..!!
Sexual harassments existed way before the #METOO movement took place. Until then, all these sufferers chose to keep quite on the issues faced by them.. Even though they had their own reasoning for hiding it, the basic reasons is that , we live in a male dominant society even in this 21st century..!! And I strongly believe it’s not because the they keep silence, instead their voices aren’t heard. Okay, lets instead of talking about the instances I have heard from medias let me talk on the matter by sharing some incidents happened in front of my eyes.
Incident 1: Once a teenage girl was travelling in a crowded public transit and you can imagine the customary happening if you’re from South..! One gentle man who still got some confusion with his Mom and Sisters started to bother her. Even though anger and frustration conquered her mind, out of fear she held her tongue back. To her surprise an elderly brave woman questioned him and made him throw out of the bus. Even though Mr. Gentle man tried to react to the situation he couldn’t withstand once the girl also accused him. The little girl learned to speak up for herself.
Incident 2: Same girl and friends was traveling through other state and experienced a similar situation. And this time, there wasn’t any room for second thoughts.. she reacted with her whole strength. She hit him.. the next stop he got down from the bus..! She didn’t bother about what other people will think about this.. She knew that THIS IS NOT NORMAL and what she did was right…! Since this time perpetrator was a decent old man and she didn’t knew the regional language of that place none was there on her side. Spectators point was, Hitting an old man was greater offense than what he did to her.. Woah..!! What a non-sense..!! Will they react the same if it happened to their sister or daughter..?? She must have slapped on his face instead, that’s what I will recommend..!!
Well, the story didn’t ended there..! While the heated discussion went on, a college guy of that native showed the braveness to come forward and support her. He explained what he saw and stood by her as her brother..! No more comments..!!that’s it..!!
This is not about gender..! Can you even believe that barely boys are also subjected to these kind of sexual harassments. An intentional touch without mutual consent must be questioned regardless of the gender..!!
So, now the question is why this happens every now and then in women’s case and rarely in men’s ..? Here are some of my observations and findings to arrest these kind of behaviors.
Strict laws and its execution: A Sexy talk or a comment or a touch all these comes under Sexual harassments by law.. hmm.. most of the laws are only in books not getting in to practice. Once concern Authorities must make sure that these laws are well executed.
Equal Power: As RBG once said women belongs to all places where decisions are being made..Most of the girls hesitate to speak up against these kind of issues because they know what will happen at the end of the case. Well there is a ray of hope since one of the developed country got its first lady vice president elect..And you know Kamala Harris better..!!
Let it start from our families: Teach boys and girls to Respect each others privacy and limits.. and be a good role model. when I say role model stop the dirty-dirty talks in front of our kids, speak up if some one bothers you and give the courage for your kids to do speak up in such instances. When they complain about some one or something take it seriously. stand by them instead of shouting at them..!
Stand by the victim not by the culprit: With out asking for how she was dressed , what time did she travel, whom she was with… all such irrelevant questions have a heart to show kindness to the prey.
Let also the gender equality start from families
( hope you remember one of my previous post on the same – if not, here is the link—> https://lafemina.home.blog/2020/07/24/gender-stereotyping-unintendedly-rooted-in-modern-families-too/) because all theses inequalities pave the way for a male dominant world and as a result these kind of acts spikes on a day to day basis.
Okay, let me stop here.. So, Have you ever face such kind of harassments and kept quite..? or When you reacted what happened..? do you have some suggestions for arresting these kind of acts..?? let the comment box be the space to speak up..
So have an amazing week ahead..Anu@lafemina
Health issues – increase in obesity of kids, over stress for eyes, poster and related issues, over screen time..so on
Learning and teaching issues– limited hands on learning, bored and distracted kids for longer sessions, lack of resources and time, fewer in person interaction, kids lack friendship and bonding..so on
Technical issues – slow internet, background noise and distractions, lack of knowledge of staff and kids how to utilize maximum out of virtual classes..
Financial Issues-lack of financial support to get access to high speed internet or supporting devices. Even if most of the schools supported kids with necessary gadgets, we came across the news from some developing countries where, kids who committed suicide in grief of not being able to afford laptop/internet..!!
When compared to the trouble caused by the coronavirus to the humankind, all these above mentioned troubles aren’t major..! But there is something which is much serious than all of these issues that we must be aware of ..have you ever thought about it?? Do you know online predators are much more aware of these uncertain times and already started their groundwork to reach to our kids..!!
Earlier when children where under the safe boundaries of school, these online predators seldom got a chance to connect with them. However the situations changed . Our kid’s personnel data including pictures and videos are readily available for hackers to retrieve it. Moreover, since both parents are working these days, most of the parents allowed kids to use the internet supported system to explore learning and to chat with adults in private spaces. Sexual harassments, Cyber bullying, Sending contents with negative connotations – including porn videos, sexual content, gender discrimination, racial discriminations, provoking religious contents, target defaming, glorified contents on drugs all similar cyber crimes spiked during this corona season.
Hmm, I know I know what you guys are thinking now..! Pretty much familiar with bullying right..? But what is Cyber bullying..??In simple words both are same, the only difference here is, in the latter one bullying is through any electronic medium. got it.?
And as a parent or care taker its our responsibility to create a safe and positive environment for our kids .Let’s see what all safety measures we should follow to arrest these risk factors.
2.Thump Rules of virtual learning:
–>If possible let them sit in an open space like living room or family room where parents/guardians can keep an eye on them.
–>Always check whether they are wearing uniforms or professional dress code. It is a good practice to give a role model to our kids by following digital etiquettes while working from home.
– ->double check time boundaries on synchronized and asynchronized learning time.
3. Connect with them: Try to collect data from kids about what all things happened on that day, just as we use to do while kids went to face to face learning at schools. Don’t take it so easy since kids are learning from comfort of home. Closely observe their behavior, watch out for any distress signs and other activities. If something like cyber bullying bothers him/her try to arrest it at the beginning stages itself. Also, if needed you can get help from school authorities, police or doctors.
4. Keep password for Social apps and E-commerce site: Its an habitual behavior of we parents to save passwords for all social apps and e-commerce websites. Its really important that the passwords aren’t saved on the devices which our kids use for learning. Or else we will come to know the serious repercussions only once our bank balance is empty. hehe.. just kidding..!!
Well, that is enough of the flip side discussion..!!As a parent of a kindergartener I’m cent percent happy and could stay peaceful with the virtual learning, also kids are performing well than expected. They aren’t tired of commute and gets lots of time for learning and extra-curricular activities. Which is really significant. And I wish this paradigm shift of this learning platform stay longer. if we take care of little things mentioned above then, it’s one of the best thing happened to our educational system s so far. I know some of you guys won’t agree with me on this.. right..? Still, Let’s try embrace the finest part of this new technology amidst these hard times and hopefully our resilience will lead us to the path of victory once everything is back to normal..!!
So how is your kids online learning going..? have you took proper measures to arrest all kind of troubles which could turn virtual learning to a villain..? Are you happy with this new platform..? Do you have some suggestions to get maximum out of it..? Share your thoughts in the comment box below. Have a fantastic week ahead.
Thank you -Lafemina@anurijo
One day in my childhood days, I was playing Football with my cousins. And all of a sudden, my granny called out for me and asked me to never repeat it because, I’m a grown up girl and football is not for girls..!! Up till now, I don’t understand the logic behind what is wrong when a girl play so called boy’s games..!!
Recently, an Indian Actress who was carrying at the time of her partner’s demise, posted a pic of her baby shower ..And the Smile on her face was the most prettiest and saddest thing I observed on Internet on that day.. And You can Imagine, the kind of unpleasant Comments bestowed under that picture..!! Why do a smile one a widow’s face irritate some vicious people out there..?? What is illegal when a widow is wearing a colorful dress or trying recover from her agony..!!
Throughout my life, I have observed and classified girls into two category..
Type A girls- the girls who obeys their parents, above average to good academics, no late night parties or hanging outs with boy friends. Never got listed in society bad list, pressurized and got married at early ages. Way before getting grip or launching her dream career and may have a job or later quit it.. Yes, then everyone tell, her partner is earning enough then why should she go to work…!! Later on, ends up as the private property of her husband…!! Now, do you think that the life, which dedicated for keeping a good track record among the society people will glorify you..???
Nopes..!! The same people will say, she wasn’t that brilliant or brave enough to have a brighter career..just somehow managed to get good scores on academics..!! Suppose, she got divorced What..!, can’t she keep a man..? Suppose, her partner cheats her or not having a baby after couple of years It’s all her fault..!! Suppose, she got married again- What..!, did she mourn enough or Did she purposely harm her earlier partner for this..? bla bla bla… Hey Girls, this blah blah never ends!!
Now, Type B girls: These girls seldom listen to their parents or never bother about what other people think about them. And obviously, their performance in academic varies from poor to below average. They do give a try in all of their interested areas..it may varies from glam world like modelling or acting to jobs that doesn’t give her a good respect or wages..!! Most of the times she will succeed in achieving her dream life and career.. She will live her life to the fullest..!! She don’t bother about the age when she should get tied to a knot..!!
Now just think about she got into some troubles, like Sexual harassment or something like that- the questions and speculations goes viral than a YouTube video – what was she wearing, why did she drive the car alone at that late night…etc!! None will be there on her side..!! And we already know, what the public or even sometimes their own parents call such girls.. Such an Irresponsible idiot or she is a Sl_T, gone case, it’s all her MOm’s fault..hmm..what not..?!!And now assume that she became a well renowned personality or a woman superstar, then the same people comes to praise her or to take the credit as well…!! What a contradictory thought process…! huh..??!!
So from here it’s evident that, you choose to be good like type A or to be bold like type B girls, whatever you choose the social norms hunts you from the beginning to the end..!! Don’t you think it’s time for rethinking all this ugly thoughts..?? And point here to be noted is that, if it was a BOY who progress in the similar situations, the thought process of the outside community will be entirely different. Instead of spreading rumours, they praise him…and respect him..!!
All this kind of Gender Stereotypes are a hindrance for equality and our development… Each of us understand the truth that, regardless of the gender, each one of us are unique with different talents..!! We all have different identities and it could be stigmatized under the threat of these pointless stereotyping..!! Since I quoted all examples where women are the subject, it doesn’t mean that men are safe from this threat..!! For instance, how many parents will support a boy who’s interested in cooking ,nursing, tailoring..?? And would these élite class people sit quiet, when a BOY child pursue his dream career ..??
So the only way out is, live our life to the fullest , never give ears to this kind of public talks and if possible TEACH YOUR KIDS to mind their own business..!! How can we expect a change until we are treating others in a way that, you don’t want to get treated..?? Let it begin from the families…be a good role model for your kids especially by avoiding judging others in front of our kids…( as we discussed in one of our earlier post- https://lafemina.home.blog/2020/07/24/gender-stereotyping-unintendedly-rooted-in-modern-families-too/ ). And there will be a huge difference, IF our government, workplace and educational system take necessary measures to arrest gender stereotyping too..!!
Let Us live and Let others to live…I’m still hopeful that we together can create a world where all are equal and just treated as humans..!!
..Have you ever came across such kind of situations..how did you reacted to it..??Don’t you think this should change..??And let me know your thoughts on the same in the comment box below..have a fantastic weekend guys..
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