If somebody ask me how do I define self assertiveness this will be my answer..It’s how you give voice to your emotions, thoughts and opinions while respecting others emotions ,thoughts and opinion in a polite and confident way…And I would say, the definition in itself is gender neutral..However in most of the cases, when the voice comes from a woman it is not..!! Society expect her to be silent, caring, nurturing and sacrificing and this truly turnout to be natural barriers for women to express herself and stand up for at least for herself..!!
Did I made things little complicated for you?? …ok..for better understanding, let me recall an incident form my experience..while there was a construction taking place in our neighbourhood, daily 20-25 back open trucks used to load mud to the spot. The overspeeded trucks contributed tons of dust to houses on either side of the street. Even all the homeowners got irritated none of them showed the courage to find a solution for the same..Atlast one teenage girl stood in the middle of the road, stopped them and asked to reduce the speed and sprinkle water throughout the street before next load..!! She was stubborn and at the beginning the drivers refused to do it but they hadn’t any go..From the very next moment, the people who enjoyed the benefits, started to defame her instead of appreciating the act..And I’m sure that if the same act was done by a teenage boy, they must have acted differently..!! Then and now I call her act as self assertiveness not Bossy..!!
How can we expect that the greater hurdles like gender stereotyping, violence against women, workplace inequalities..etc could be controlled even without giving them a voice to express herself..Oops..! That statement is technically wrong..!! As Meghan Markle once said, you don’t need to give her a voice..because she already got it..better you have the patience to listen to it..
It’s very sad that, There are still families out there who believes that when male counterparts of the family is taking some decisions regarding some family matters, women are not supposed to express their opinion on the same..!! Which means it’s deep rooted in the society. Religion, Media, Educational system , Governance all of these continues to strengthen these kind of social norms..
And now it’s time to speak up and stand up for ourselves.When you’re self assertive-Yes, you are really free to a NO where ever it is really important..hope you remember one of my previous post on importance of saying NO..if not here is the link(https://lafemina.home.blog/2020/08/09/a-no-in-time-saves-nine/comment-page-1/)
Now, if you aren’t confident enough to be self assertive, let’s have a look in to how easy is it to practice…!!
Step 1: Check and fix if our past is blocking us from being able to self assertive.
Step 2: Manage our emotions and stay calm while expressing our thoughts.
Step 3: Convey our confidence in our words and body language. Try to be precise and clear.
Step 4: Be open for others suggestions as well and consider a compromise if appropriate.
See it’s simple as that..Once we start practicing self assertiveness, we will feel more truer to self, stand up for our rights, communicate better and resist the act of someone trying to put you down. Just look at it an ingredient in the recipe of self esteem rather than giving it a shade of gender stereotyping..
Hope this helps..How good are you at your assertiveness..?? Did anyone call you BOSSY or did you call anyone BOssy??Leave your comments in the comment box below..