LA FEMINA ..FOR WOMEN BY A WOMAN….you will find most inspirational and motivational thoughts here along with some positive parenting tips..
Unheralded paternal love- let’s celebrate Father’s day.
— Read on lafemina.home.blog/2020/06/05/__trashed/
“My dad changed the world “🌎..those words resonate in our mind all these days especially when we are moving closer to Father’s Day 2020…yes ..for every kid their dad is so special..
Have you ever watched your Dad getting so emotional or literally crying ?? Most of us haven’t. Did they held it back for family and kids??or to protect the social norms that a strong man never cries..?? God knows!!
Its a dazzle of pain, to live a life without being able to express and display paternal love. I have seen my Mom expressing her emotions to the fullest, when it comes to love, laughter or sadness… Whereas, dad was calm as summer’s morning. I haven’t seen him bursting out, even in toughest times. A simple family man, who dedicated whole his life working abroad without any complaints, for his three girls… Yes, that’s paternal love. Its intense and responsive to the needs and desires of their kids. If you ask for the moon, regardless of the feasibility he goes behind fulfilling your dreams…but they aren’t exhibitionist. Most of the times we never recognize our dad’s contributions behind our victories.
Its a dazzle of pain, to live a life without being able to express and display paternal love.
jibon krishna goswami- remains of spring
It’s really interesting to observe the transition of superhero dad to super bossy Dad …As of now, I am on the observer side and now I know how hard is for a dad to pretend to be a Hitler for their kids…!! From certain point of our life, we kids feel our dad as so bossy or strict. That’s because, dads tent to enforce harsher responses to our poor behaviors. Beyond doubt, now I can say that no father in this world wanted to treat his beloved kid in such a harsh way.. This annoying factor arises from his own consciousness. His focus is only at the future results unlike all mommies including me. And the saddest truth is that only once we start missing him, we realize the value of his eternal unconditional love. Well, let me add a word to all the mommies reading me- I feel like, Its our responsibility to make our kiddos understand that, dad is being bossy because of his love and care towards them.
Most of the times, fathers are more likely to fix the problems or find the solutions and move on. They don’t give space for emotions and feelings. Because they know, one day in the future their kids will recognize his love and care for them.
So wake up guys, its time to celebrate unheralded fatherhood. Well, I know what you are thinking about..how to celebrate fathers day amid this pandemic lock-down season..No worries.. remember how we celebrated mothers day in one of the previous post..if you haven’t read it here is the link..
(https://lafemina.home.blog/2020/05/07/a-mothers-day-preparation-guide-amid-lock-down/)
Happy Fathers day in advance…!! And if you like this post don’t forget to follow and share…🤗
Life lessons we are relearning amidst Covid-19
— Read on lafemina.home.blog/2020/05/30/life-lessons-we-are-relearning-amidst-covid-19/
To feel better and to stay positive amid this traumatizing pandemic season, we need to focus on the positive side of the coin. In my opinion, that is the only solution to prepare ourselves for the so called “New Normal”. Let’s have a look at what a disease can teach us.
1.Great lesson on unity and equality: Under the nose of this tiny little creature, we all are equal irrespective of our race, faith, wealth or social status. Well, I can’t justify that statement to the fullest because its affecting our older community so badly.
These days we humans are fighting against the virus as a team…irrespective of the political, territory or country boarders. U-N-I-T-Y..of minds..what seems impossible is achieved by a virus?? Whoa..that’s really a rewarding achievement right??
2.We accepted the fact that its wise to trade our individual freedom for a good cause: All these lock-down days while we where practicing social distancing, we realized the fact that most of us can work, learn, earn or worship from our own home.Most importantly, we were willing to trade our personnel freedom of roaming around for the greater good of the public. Even at these times a mindless minorities claim that it’s a breach of their individual freedom.Well,exceptions could be ignored.
3.We all are capable of multitasking: Since we didn’t have an option of daycare’s or preschools kids became an integral part of our work life. Well, initially most of us found it a daunting act, gradually it proved that we are capable of simultaneously handling both work life and kids. From my personnel experience I ‘m pretty sure that, our little ones are literally demanding Almighty for more lock-down days. 😉
4.We realized our love and care for our Golden-Ager’s: Hundreds of long-term care and retirement homes across the country are grappling with outbreaks of the novel Corona virus. Multiple cases have led to a string of deaths in these spaces, leaving communities shaken. And many of us are rethinking on keeping them in old age homes or along with us.
I live in a neighborhood were majority of couples are enjoying their retirement life.And I haven’t seen their families visiting them more than twice or thrice in an year.But, nowadays I wonder how these guys get time to buy groceries every week for them..Yes, this pandemic made us realize that, there are so many things that M-O-N-E-Y alone can’t get for us.
5.Made most of us more creative and productive: Do you remember those days we all spend a lot of time by admiring at film stars and hooking up for hours on Netflix????And now since lock-down made all of us work from home, we realized that we can also be super heroes by exploring possibilities on a virtual world.
I found myself started blogging, exploring my cooking skills, experimental DIY’s… and people around me getting creative in their own ways…!! Some of them turned out to be amazing You-tuber’s, others exploring their passion for cooking, crafting..etc. Yeah, most of us have been fruitful and really taking advantage of these locked down days to find true self . Whereas, rest of them found themselves in an insane world with out social interactions. Its good that if we remember the truth that ‘our happiness lies within us’. Hopefully some necessary motivation works for them.
6.Every one irrespective of the gender,age,status.. learned the “Art of cooking“ : As we are getting adjusted to home confinement, our confidence in the kitchen has soared, with many saying that they will carry on with their cooking habits even after the world returns to a new normal.
7. We can survive without these three expensive D’s- Dine-out,Door delivery and Doctor(if necessary!!): The fear of the virus made us to think twice before dining out/ home deliveries…along with that we started to skip the doctors appointment for all the self healing sickness. Most of us started trying home remedies. Well, again back to nature.
8.Importance of cleanliness and sanitation workers: Sanitation and cleanliness are among the humblest of the civic virtues, and it’s easy to underestimate their significance. This pandemic made us realize the relevance of both.
9.We can celebrate all events in an humble and simple way: This lock down season changed our outlook towards all events from baptism to funeral…some of us found virtual ways to stay connected during these events, while others arranged drive thru’s..Yes ..So, that is it..!! More than throwing an expensive party, staying connected is important..Again salute to the virus!!
10.Nature got its own mechanism to sustain the equilibrium : Throughout the centuries nature has adapted its own ways to rebound against the selfless actions of human race…natural calamities like floods, earthquakes.. all are good examples for that!! Hope you recall the good news on media’s of how nature is self healing..And the flora and fauna flourishing in the tranquil environment.
To conclude, if we think from all aspects of this pandemic, it had helped to bring out the best and worst of humanity…however, lets not focus on the worst..!! I should add the selfless act of humans around the world, to the best-est thing happened in this pandemic…!!Yes.. I am so content to realize that still there is some goodness left among us..😊
Let me know your thoughts on this and don’t forget to share what positive changes these 🔒 down days made in you????or What lessons you relearned??can’t wait to here form you..!!🥰
How to unlearn toxic behaviors from past?
https://lafemina.home.blog/2020/05/24/how-to-unlearn-toxic-behaviors-from-past/
— Read on lafemina.home.blog/2020/05/24/how-to-unlearn-toxic-behaviors-from-past/
It is said that, the way how an animal respond to an external or internal stimulus can be innate or learned from the exposed environment.When you’re brought up in a household where unhealthy behaviors, like intimidation, gender inequality, lack of love and respect, over strictness etc existed, there is a high probability of mirroring the same in your adulthood. When I say intimidation, it includes all the abuses like screaming at your face, verbal abuse, mocking and making you feel stupid, controlling the finances, isolating and controlling who you socialize with…
Many people around the world who experience verbal abuse, rationalize the abuse in their mind and don’t even realize it’s an unhealthy form of communication. However, that doesn’t make it any less distressing or mentally exhausting for people on the receiving end. In my opinion, all this kind of abuses is used for maintaining power and control over the other partner in a relationship. So, here arises the relevance of unlearning the toxic behaviors before it engulf your relations and put your kid’s future at a risk. Kids learn to mirror the behaviors that they experience initially from their parents as we all did.
Here I am trying to help you out by looking at the issue from two different perspectives.
Case A: you are the person who need the change
1.Analyse and realize: Have a self evaluation on your self character and figure out the toxic behaviors that you have absorbed .
2.Change for yourself: Change should come from your own mind. Understanding that you are changing for your own betterment is really important.
3.Planning: Figure out the triggering points and plan accordingly.
4.One step at a time: trying to change as a whole will be overwhelming. So, try to make small changes at a time and try to focus on the positive outcomes and be optimistic.
5.Awareness and conscious effort is the key
Case B: You are helping a person who needs a change
1.Understanding the root cause
2. Discussing other preferred behaviors rather than pointing out the side effects. Because doing so may make the person more reluctant to change.
3.Try to avoid/change those triggering situations.
3.Encouraging and appreciating
4.Staying calm -don’t overreact- understand that changing a behavior from the past is not an easy task. It takes time and patience.
According to a famous book ‘Switch-how to change things when change is hard’ by Chip and Dan Heath they relates our rational and emotional mind to an elephant and the rider.I found this epitome really interesting.When the rider(rational mind) direct the elephant(irrational mind), it always shows some resistance for change. So for a change, direct the rider and motivate the elephant….!!
Don’t forget to share your thoughts on the same in the commenting section below…
And if you like it do follow and share..Have a wonderful day 😃
Hold on before you ask a kid ‘who do you love the most- Mom or Dad’ ????
Hold on before you ask a kid ‘who do you love the most- Mom or Dad’ ????
— Read on lafemina.home.blog/2020/05/15/hold-on-before-you-ask-a-kid-who-do-you-love-the-most-mom-or-dad/
Have you ever asked any kid who do you love the most- Dad or Mom???..
If ‘yes’ the continue reading..its really helpful..
Have you ever faced this mindless question or have you asked/heard someone asking the same to any kids?? If ‘yes’ then you should continue reading.
Hey cutie, Who do you love the most ‘Mom or Dad’…??
It’s a default question running throughout generations…We all might have heard it at least once from our parents,in-laws,relatives or rather yourself asking to kids .We don’t even bother about the future implications of this brainless question on that kid. Let’s have a quick look at it.
1. Forcing a kid to choose among parents:- In a normal family, for every child words always fall less to delineate whom they love the most.Because, both parents are special for them in their own ways. I remember, once I was asked the same question in an interview and to this date I don’t understand the relevance for that question in a job interview.Well, luckily I didn’t choose that offer!! Yeah that question looks so weird isn’t it..??
Even there can be some awkward moments where the questioner imposing personal favouritism on kids..which is really questioning the balance of a family. So, it’s really important to understand parents are just like two sides of a coin..neither less nor more..
2. Rooting gender discrimination in little minds :- Nowadays, in most of the families both parents are working and ladies are still handling most of the household chores. This make the kids to think in a biased way, when such a question is being asked .It can lead little minds to reinforce women and men are not equal in this family system .So let’s try to nurture gender equality in little minds rather than inequality for a better future generation..
3. Conflicts among parents :- As we know, every individual is unique, and will evoke a different response at different situations. This makes it very unlikely that, love will be strictly equal between family members.While running a successful family, Moms and Dads have different roles and will spend different amount of time with a child. And this eventually will result in a favoritism in kids.
Once the kid prefers one parent over other, it may cause trouble among the couples.They may compete for the favor of their child, by pampering more or even by dumping gifts.Both can seriously effect one kid’s overall growth.
4. Adversely effects the kids and other parents relations in a long run:– At different stages of life, as one’s needs changes, the attachment towards one parent decreases and vise versa..this is completely normal. However, at times we forget it and take it in to our hearts.This may hold you back while bonding with your kids. Remember,both parents love and care are inevitable part of a child’s emotional and mental development.
Now let’s see what we can do to avoid this kind of toxic situations from our kids life.
Phewww..!! Hmmm..I know, what you guys are wondering about..yeah it’s true .. that silly question got so much to manipulate our little minds..!!
Share your thoughts below in the comment box..and if you like the post don’t forget to follow and share 😊
A Mother’s day preparation guide amid lock down.
— Read on lafemina.home.blog/2020/05/07/a-mothers-day-preparation-guide-amid-lock-down/
Advance Mother’s Day wishes to all mommies out there..🥰🥰🥰
For a woman, the word ‘MOM’ recalls of her own origin and her destiny. Yes, at some point of life, we all realize what our mom went through for bringing up each one of us. It will take a generation time for this realization- to be specific – Until we are in motherhood…starting with the long 9 months of morning sickness and discomforts, c-sections and the first bowels there after, sleepless first year of your newborn, those days even if you are on a sick leave and realize that, mom in you don’t have a day off…During this whole grooming session, where a girl in us molds into a women/mom, we terribly miss our mom and feels like we should celebrate every day as Mother’s Day.
Officially, we celebrate Mother’s day on second Sunday in may ..It is a time to celebrate Mom’s -the very beautiful creatures that gave us life ,love and care to thrive as a growing little humans that blossom into admirable adults. Unlike there in India, here in Canada it used to be one of those days when they would get family and friends together for a dine out, backyard BBQ’s, game/movie nights with mom. And of course, the lovely gifts, flowers hugs and kisses. Well, people of every nation got their own culture. However, this one used to give me goosebumps – the way Canadians honoring Motherhood.
But with stay at home and social distancing measures in place because of the covid-19 pandemic, Mother’s Day is going to look different this year. For some of us, can’t reach to hug our mom, for others who are near couldn’t celebrate the day as usual. Here are some of the ways that you can make your moms happy on this special day amidst this lock down.
If you are staying with your mom
If you can’t make it home
Since we are living in a world of cutting edge technologies and social networks, just make use of it.
If you have little kids its worth try to grow a culture of honoring motherhood from their childhood itself. By doing moms day crafts,poem,watching related stories/songs on you tube we can spend some quality time with them and make our-self special.
(some useful links for kids-songs- https://youtu.be/iOSqt37-6aM -stories-https://youtu.be/PgWDU-LfBIs,https://youtu.be/fC4GN0sEJi8)
Here I share some of my kindergartener’s surprise to me for mothers day. Trust me, its fun to know what’s your image in their little hearts.
So, the whole idea behind this post is- whether your mom is near or far,make sure that you tell your mom how much you treasure her and show her you love with one of above ideas that will make any mom feel special.By Commenting let me know your creative plans of celebrating “mom”!!Who knows, you might find a way make it even more special this time.
Anu@lafemina 